Picture Abhi Baaki Hai Mere Dost!!!! :)

A great philosopher once said, “Dhinka Chika, Dhinka Chika, Dhinka Chika, Dhinka Chika, Dhinka Chika, Dhinka Chika, Ae, Ae Ae Ae..” J And a country of a billion dreams is doing “the pocket TT” a la Salman. Initial reviewers of the movie said that Salman followed his last year’s blockbuster with such a bad movie. Today, it’s India’s third highest grossing movie. So who’s laughing now?

Another colorful news: Shah Rukh Khan is mega pissed that his song for his much anticipated Diwali release, Ra-One, has been leaked online. The song called “Wanna be my Chammak Challo?” done by International singer Akon (yes, SRK paid him a bomb!) has already hit half a million views on You Tube at the time of writing this post. And btw, it’s an awesome song. J

Elsewhere, Bollywood Ka Baap is smarting as his home production is being released on the same day as the home production of Box Office ka Baap, the Perfectionist Khan. When the latter refused to accommodate the former’s request for a reschedule, the former’s official quote to the situation, “Buddha Hoga Tera Baap!!!” J

Again, Perfectionist Khan refuses to attend the award functions in India where he is always a winner and he takes the trouble to go to those award shows where he loses (remember ‘Lagaan’). But we still love you, Aamir. J

While the Hollywood’s highest paid actor looked like he made one long movie, cut them into three different ones based on scenery and named them “Departed“, “Shutter Island” and “Inception” (is it only me who thinks Leo looks the same in almost all his latest movies?), our highest paid actor Rajnikanth, well, is simply Rajnikanth. His last three movies, “Robot”, “Shivaji“ and “Chandramukhi” were as different as chalk, cheese and charcoal, same formula notwithstanding….no wait, he too looks like he made one long movie and cut it into three based on heroine…oh, well…. J

Catfights aside, man fights prevail too here – Vivek Oberoi called a press conference one fine day and then he realized that he doesn’t have any good movie worth talking about to the press; so he talks about his never ending love to his lady love and how much she suffered from the other man in their life, a certain Khan. Today, Vivek still apologizes whenever the press condescends to talk with him (Yup, he still doesn’t have any good movies to talk about inspite some real raw talent).

Rani Mukherjee is upset that she’s not getting as many roles as she once did cos well, she’s looking very “healthy“ nowadays. So she vows that she’ll work up a killer bod and hit the gym with a vengeance. Latest reports state she is not able to give her dates to the gym. J

Everytime a Hritik movie comes out, his liplock comes back to the news- remember the Dhoom2 one which cost him an invite to Ash-Abhi’s wedding (Abhishek, as expected, has no idea ;)), or the Barbara Mori one (where the audience just preferred to fly kites rather than watch the movie!). Well, the latest is that Hritik’s liplock with Katrina. Who cares what happens to the movie… at least he got to kiss Katrina… rascal!

After dating half the Indian Cricket team, ‘Shanthi’ has moved on to another sport – this time, it’s Formula One, or rather to the scion of the Indian formulaone team. Oh yes, his dad also owns a cricket team.

When a superstar was fatally hurt on set, a country of followers prayed for the Coolie’s well being. He came back to health and glory and thanked his countless fans for their prayers. This was some 3 decades back. Last month, history repeated again with the robot star.

The first Bollywood movie was in Black and White. Almost 25 years after that, the first color movie came out in India in 1937. Today, Bollywood had taken flight with color so much that Bollywood single handedly colors the lives of a billion souls.

Colorful personalities. Colorful people. Colorful films.

Where else can you find so much color?

But in Bollywood.

Big fan.

J

HP is a world leader in bringing color to life. See how the colors of Bollywood can take flight with HP Laserjet printers here.

Now, for my box office, "Vote for me here"

J

How to Renew your Passport

My initial choice of topic heading for this post was ”How to fool people and cheat them” so you get the idea, rite? J

So I needed to get my passport renewed.

Now the normal way of getting it done was find an agent, allow him to fool you, pay him money for it, allow him to fool you more, pay him more money for it and after that, repeat process again and again till you’re satisfied with the fooling and the money giving. How do I know this? Well, how do you think I got my driving license? J

Now, my passport would expire in August and my friend’s wife is pregnant and due in October. So how is it related? Oh it is.

• Point no 1: Since my friend’s wife is being taken to her parents in July, he will be living a bachelor’s life again from July to December.

• Point no 2: Since he lives in Dufai (also known as Dubai amongst non mallus; else it has always been ‘Dufai’), the house that he and his wife lovingly built (knowing him, I’m sure its only his wife who built it; he was just probably drinking beer and complaining bout the damn TV reception. No wonder we’re friends J)… anyways, like I was saying, his house is free and (ok, here it comes, background music rising)… he has invited moi to spent a week of bachelor fun in the Dufai with him.

• Point no 3: My passport expires in August and I can’t travel hence. So I need a new passport.

• Point no 4: Damn.

• Point no 5: Damn again.

• Point no 6: Damn. (I just like saying ‘Damn’J.. it’s my second most popular word after the ‘f’ word. And of course, Beer. J)

So I needed to get my passport renewed.

Now in Bangalore, the process is that you need to go online, download an application form, complete it and upload it again and schedule an appointment(that’s online too). At the appointment, you need documents to prove that you exist – mostly address proof, that’s all. Sounds simple enough, right?

Well, like they say the devil is in the details; and the devil and I have been fighting ever since he took Silk Smitha away from me . It was fairly easy downloading the form (maybe my extensive years of downloading porn seems to be finally helping). Filling the form too was comparatively easier too (I’ve always was good at copying from one paper to another – my degree certificate stands testimony to that fact). But after that, it’s hell. The damn (lovely word, ain’t it?) site doesn’t open after that. I keep trying to upload the completed forms and well, the damn site simply does not open. Finally, after a week of trails and tribulations, it just opened and I was able to finally upload the completed application form. Now I needed to schedule a meeting. That’s where the damn site started to take over my life. I started waking up early morning at 9(!) just to schedule an appointment and I was never able to. The damn (lovely word, ain’t it?) site doesn’t open. They even had a toll free number, which I whole heartedly abused.

Now, I love toll free numbers. I always like chatting up with women on toll free numbers - its free and they’re the only women in my life who do not hang up after 30 seconds of talking with me. If it’s a guy, I usually practice my bad language with them – So toll free numbers always used to spice up my (non-existent) love life and spruce up my (non-intelligia) linguistic skills. So, they tell me that it’s my browser’s fault and I needed to download Mozilla or the latest version of IE to upload my form. The other crazy thing that they told me was that they only accept government forms as proof of address- so I needed to have either a public gas connection (mine’s private – damn!), or a BSNL landline phone bill address proof (mine’s Airtel – damn!) or a public bank statement with address (mine’s ICICI – damn!). So essentially, even if I uploaded the form on the site, the passport office will not accept any of my documents as proof of address. In their view, they shared the same view that all my old teachers shared - that I simply don’t exist. My dream of going to Dufai seemed that it would remain a dream only.

So then enter my cousin who said that if you’ve spent more than the last five years in Kerala, you can apply for the passport there. So we got another agent in Kerala, and I told him I needed to go immediately to Dubai. He confidently said “Dan’t werrry saaar, you will go to Dufai soon. My ungle is ollso….” . He made my application forms, told me that I needed to go to the Kochi Passport office early morning at 4 and stand in the queue. Since my address is the same as in my earlier passport and I have a valid US visa, it shouldn’t be much of a problem.

So we did as he told, stood in Kochi Passport center from 4 AM. There are lot of other agents there who try to capitalize on your ignorance. We had one agent telling somebody that the ‘place of birth’ column always had to have the word ‘Kerala’ written in it.. even if he was born in Bhopal!!! Another guy was born in Kerala but did not have the word ‘Kerala’ written so the agent said that his application would be rejected. The panicked person requested the agent to help and the agent wrote the word ‘Kerala’ in his application letter and charged him 200 bucks for the same. Finally, the counter opened, I gave in my application. It was not too difficult and the officials were quite helpful. A week later, I even had a successful police verification (they didn’t recognize me :P). And finally, I got my passport renewed (This time, I got a better pic too J).

So I tell my friend in Dufai that all is done and that I’m coming over to help him relive his bachelorhood days and he sez that he changed plans and that he’s relocating back to Kerala.

Damn!!

L

King Khan Salman

And in other news, the whole nation thinks it’s a great idea to go “Dhinka Chika, Dhinka Chika, Dhinka Chika, Dhinka Chika, Dhinka Chika, Dhinka Chika, Ae, Ae Ae Ae..” J

I can’t think of anyone but Salman who can do the “Dhinka Chika”- I mean, Shah Rukh would probably make it way too stylish, while Aamir would make it perfect in every respect while Hritik would’ve made it a dancing phenomenon or Farhan would have probably sung it in his voice too. But it is Salman and only Salman who can turn street class lunacy into a national anthem for celebrating tomfoolery and still be proud of it. It borders on vulgarity but is not; it borders on taporigiri but is not and it borders on cheapness but hell, it is not.

I can’t believe that there was a time when people actually thought of writing him off. There was a time when Salman Khan was hated by the press once upon a time. And he was known more for his exploits on the wrong side of law and love. As for today, this guy consistently comes up with not just hits but blockbusters when the going is tough- the stupendous success of the movie Ready has shown his detractors that even a critically panned movie can become the third biggest grosser in history with the right choice of Khan. And movies are not only the space where he’s touched – even in the small screen, he has made his mark for himself. Bigg Boss and Dus Ka Dham are just Salman vehicles, where he’s just being himself. He’s known to help friends when they’re down, he’s known to think through his heart and he’s known for just being himself in front of a rolling camera. And if that aint enough, today he also shows the world what ‘Being Human’ is all about. Like he always said, “Ek Baar Se Dil Nahi Bharata Mudke Dekh Mujhe Dobaara.. Tan Tana Tan Tan Tan Taara” - Give him another chance n he usually delivers.

I have an ongoing argument with my friend who’s a huge Aamir fan. She says that a Salman can never be an Aamir. I highlight that the opposite is equally true. We have this discussion where I keep telling her that while 3Idiots boasts of a great script, some great performances and a great director which helped it claim the title of the biggest Indian grosser to date, the second grosser, Dabangg, has only Salman Khan as its selling point. And what a selling it has been!

As a kid, I had this rudimentary ‘CutnPaste’ method to determine a great actor: if you can cut an actor from one of his movies and paste it in another of his movies and if you see a difference, then he’s a great actor. Think Kamal Haasan – you simply cannot cut and paste him between any of his movies. His role in Chaachi 420 is so different from what he did in Hey Ram or even Hindustani/Indian – so he truly is a great actor (yes, very juvenile I know J). So from that count, is Salman a great actor? Well, Prem’s (his most popular screen name) versatility seem to span the action genre, the comedy crowd and romance, which in Bollywood parlance, is the entire span of emotions (J). But he did deliver some awesome roles in Tere Naam or as the brooding Radhe in Wanted and Chedhi Singh has no ‘conpyujen’ that only Salman could play Robinhood Pandey with such rustic finesse n glee . So Salman may or may not be the greatest actor in town but is he a great entertainer? Oh Bloody Hell Yeah!!

If you see the evolution of the man, he’s always been doing nonsensical but fun riots like ‘Dhinka Chika’ in ‘Oonchi hai building..’, ‘Janam Samjha Karo’ and a whole lotta other such numbers, but what has changed now is the absolute confidence he has in his moves – like Farah Khan said on choreographing him in Dabangg, ”U don’t choreograph Salman, he choreographs u” - Salman feels the beat of the music, evolves it into his own way and then brings out something that is distinctly his own making. In a way, Salman has always represented what Bollywood always stood for – while the other stars carved names for themselves as the thinking man’s actors, Salman represented the jatkas and the matkas of Bollywood and today his confidence in himself is a showing of Bollywood’s new found confidence in itself.

Munni’s basically family, he was dating Shiela and his character isn’t as Dheela as it is was once made of to be. He doesn’t have an IPL team yet, he doesn’t market his movies as innovatively as Aamir and yes, he is the son of a yesteryear bollywood big daddy. But he has his name stamped on four of Bollywood’s biggest all time blockbusters, has got oodles of star power and is the guy who first showed everybody else that taking ur shirt off to show off ur six pack is really the way to go.

While Shah Rukh is the King, and Aamir is beyond superlatives , Salman is just well, just Salman.

And yes, Prem.

And yes, a bloody safe bet.

J

What is the real Ugly? ;)

A great philosopher once said, “Life badi kutti cheez hai”… since I’m not wise enough to say such profound statements, I just end up agreeing to such universal truths.

I don’t know if it’s just me but do you get the feeling that there’s a little too much of beauty all around you here (this very blog holds three instances J); so I realized that since everybody is busy thinking of the beautiful (n since I’m done with my tribute to beauty J), lemme come up with the real ugly in life. So, here’s my list of the plain harami things in my life:

• I hate the fact that whenever I go to the mall, I see absolute gorgeous angels (the super bombastic dynamite hot babe-licious type of women) hanging out with absolute creeps. I keep asking God, “What has he got that I don’t?” (Convinced by that stupid old ad, I even bought a year’s supply of Frenchie’s – my unfortunate revelation is that contrary to what that stupid ad says, Frenchies does not help at all in this dept – or maybe I haven’t got lucky enough to find out. So now I’m stuck with a whole cupboard full of undies in the weirdest of vibrant colors L). As the angel of this girl sits behind him and holds him tightly from behind on his shiny black Harley Davidson (rascal!), I hate the fact that the only person who has smugly sat behind me on my almost-in-ruin 10 year old Yamaha is the garage mechanic’s helper boy, Chinna. Life saali kutti cheez hai.

• I hate the fact that my best friend is today in a better job and has a higher pay than me. Sure, old Hindi movies have said that you should be happy for your friend’s success. Crap! I’m not!! I so wish he was as underpaid and miserable as I am. Hell, even that other worthless guy I so hated so much in college is better settled in life!! L

• I so hate the fact that my ex is today madly in love with this guy who is so much better than me - he’s rich, more educated and has got better teeth (creep!). And even though I tell her that I’ve got women swooning all around me; she, me and the rest of the world knows that the only thing swooning around me are these damn, wretched mosquitoes.

• I hate the fact that my financial status hasn’t really changed much in the last 10 years. They say that the only thing permanent in life is change and maybe that’s why I have a lot of it – I always seem to have had a lotta 1 rupee and 2 rupee coins jingling in my pockets for the most part of the last 10 years. And my zero balance bank account has always remained true to its name L.

I’m sure I can think of so many more instances when I try to convince the world that the damn glass is really half empty. When some wise guy tells me that ”Mere Paas Gadi Hai, Bangla hai…..bol, tere paas kya hai?”I humbly reply the same thing I said about my IIT exam question paper experience - “Maybe the question is wrong”.

So for all the beauty out there, here is the party pooper.

Yours truly.

J

I wanted to submit this for the contest too but the contest closed L. Readers are requested to comment and add on their versions of the Ugly Truths in their life below.

J

Don't Stand up for Soumya.

Don’t stand up for Soumya , just the way the law didn’t.

The opposing lawyers said there were no eye witnesses to what happened that night and they are trying to prove that she was mentally unstable.

Don’t stand up for Soumya , just the way the government didn’t.

The officials made the right noises and sounds initially but once the government changed in Kerala, they forgot Soumya and did not appoint a lawyer for her and have instead have started thinking about which juicy ministerial berth to focus on.

Don’t stand up for Soumya , just the way her fate didn’t.

After her father passed away 5 years ago, her mother gave up her job as a domestic helper due to sickness, and the brother being a driver, Soumya had to abandon her course in Hotel Management to take up a job as a sales girl in a mall in Kochi to become the sole bread winner of the family. She was heading home that dreadful Tuesday evening for considering her marriage proposal when the incident happened.

Don’t stand up for Soumya, just the way everyone else didn’t.

She was attacked, molested and raped by a handicapped man in the women’s compartment and her family cannot afford to fight the case. He walked into the empty ladies compartment, tried to rob Soumya, pushed her out of the running train when she fought back, smashed her head and then brutally raped her. Later he then pleaded that he was handicapped to gain sympathy. He has his lawyers and she’ll most probably end up as another news headline soon forgotten.

Don’t stand up for Soumya cos she’ll never stand ever again.

Because Soumya succumbed to her injuries and died unjust, unhappy and ruined.

Don’t stand up for Soumya.

But stand up for all the other women in your life, who could become Soumya.

23 year old Soumya was the soul bread winner of her family. She worked in Kochi, Kerala as a sales girl in a mall but she always wished and wanted to be a bank employee one day. Her abject poverty did not curb her dreams, aspirations and hopes but something else did - all her’s and all her family’s dreams came crashing down on the night of 6th Feb. Soumya had taken the train for home to Thrissur for her marriage proposal and the hopeful lady boarded the ladies’ compartment. A handicapped man boarded the empty compartment, tried to rob her, pushed her off the running train and brutally raped her.

The government started the blame game blaming the opposition, the railways, the left, the right, the center. Since governments changed, they now lost interest in it.

This post is written as an attempt to make aware, awaken and alert others of this gross injustice that can happen to any lady.

Soumya died a few days later due to her injuries.

She could never be a bank employee.

More info here.

Youtube video here.

The 'real beauty' in us

Even Cindy Crawford says that she does not wake up looking like Cindy Crawford.

Beauty and looking good are a integral part of our self esteem. We all have the urge to look, smell and sound good, cos it eventually makes us feel good.

And contrary to popular perception and much to the chagrin of my fellow brotherhood, let me reveal that we men have always been using women’s beauty products all along. Since time immemorial. Extensively (Sorry guys J).

Long before there was fairness cream for men, I used to surreptitiously wear women’s fairness cream. And I must say, it actually worked!! It did make me look fairer J. But my glee was short lived when one of my women colleagues recognized the scent of the cream on my face when we stood close to each other in the crowded bus back home and she yelled out to me in front of everyone in the crowded bus if I used women’s fairness cream. My new found fairness accentuated my red blushing face, which went bright red with embarrassment. That was the end of my love story with fairness cream. Till they recently came out with the odorless version (Thank God for R&D!!J).

My tryst with women’s beauty products continued with blackhead removers, moisturizers, sunscreen lotion and facewash. But the industry evolved to bring out products catering to men. I then started to be open about going for manicures, pedicures and massages. I also developed a profound obsession to smelling good and thus started my love affair with perfumes. My current vice is eye glasses and I have about 11 pairs of them, which I color coordinate with my wardrobe’s latest summer collection. J

But growing up, my macho buddies thought I was weird. In the mallu backwaters of God’s own country, where mallu macho was defined with ‘mundu’ and ‘mooch’, I lacked either. Also my cupboard having two shelves of beauty products, didn’t help my gender cause. And it seemed like I knew more about exfoliation than some of the women I dated then J. To the many raised eyebrows, I used to vociferously highlight that only real men use make-up (not that it helped much). Finally, Media came to my rescue again when they branded men who used beauty products as ‘Metrosexy’. They said that being metrosexy is cool and that metrosexy is the new sexy. Almost suddenly, I was ahead of the curve and my guy buddies found it easier to talk to me about beauty products as compared to asking their women friends. Suddenly, I was the new dude in the hostel. And I wore color coordinated glasses to boot. With matching scarfs. And I smelt Hugo Boss. Musk fragranced, that too. J

It’s been a decade since my journey with beauty products and I’ve learnt to respect women and men who wear make up. I like the fact that people take the effort to look, smell and feel good – it just shows that they love and care about themselves and that they are comfortable in their (moisturized)skins. J

But I also started to realize something else….

I now realize that the real beauty in ourselves is not in the way we groom ourselves; its something more profound: The real beauty in ourselves is our own selves only. And our best make-up is something which all of us have in abundance - ourselves.

We are all somebody to somebody else – we are children, parents, siblings, lovers, colleagues, neighbors and friends to other people. And they interact, cherish and value us not because we use the latest accessories or sport the latest trends (which does help, by the way ;)); they interact with us because we are ourselves. And that’s what makes all of us so special and so beautiful to everyone around us. And there is nobody else quite like it. There is a void in the universe that can be filled only by our own unique selves.

Our virtues, our vices, our prejudices, our prides, our loves, our lives, our hearts, our smiles and our selves are the real beauty in all of us. And we are all, soooo... beautiful!!

So here’s a toast to the most beautiful thing about us – our own selves.

To us -the ‘real beauty’ in us!

Cheers and Amen.

J

And like they say, "May all our happiness be true happiness and all our pain, champagne!!!" J

Dove and Yahoo! salutes the triumphant spirit of the Indian woman with Yahoo! Real Beauty - 'What is 'real beauty' to you?'. Go on, join the conversation....

If you like this post, promote me at ib, like me on facebook, or follow me here. If not, let's go get some beer J.

Most beautiful.

Today is Sapna’s birthday.

She won’t tell her age cos she thinks she’s too old. And Sapna does not have bright blue eyes, or an aquiline nose or a symmetric face.

But she may be the most beautiful person I know.

When she smiles, it’s because she likes to. She’s the one who’d share her last piece of the cake with her children. She’s the one who’d make short snacks for her hubby when he has a long day. She’s the one who’d diligently wakes up at 12 in the night to be the first person to wish her girlfriends a happy birthday.

Every month of March when salary is short, she secretly borrows money to send her retired parents to holiday so that they can celebrate their anniversary. She remains broke for the next few months and we friends willingly oblige her for this noble quirk of hers. This year, her parents said that it was the best anniversary ever and the photos showed them in the happiest of cheer and joy in Malaysia. Sapna is still broke but definitely richer at heart. And she’s been smiling ever since.

She is caring.




Sapna tries to buy more black clothes cos she’s told it helps one look thinner; but she never takes it too seriously and cheerfully ends up buying clothes in her favorite bright colors. She’s not size zero. And nor does she diet anexorically.

Yet she could be the most beautiful person I know.

She helps others because she wants to. She’s the one who bought her younger brother a whole new wardrobe when he got his first job (and he couldn’t afford one then  J ). She the one who helps her cousins with Math tuitions and with exam counseling (the first cousin Nidhi couldn’t have topped Math in school without Sapna’s help J). And Sapna’s the one who looks for excuses and occasions to buy more gifts for her near, dear and loved ones.

When grandpa was ill, she sat by his side with grandma all throughout the three long months. When he left, some say he left behind a content life and that he left happy. Later, Sapna smiled more often cos she knew she was there for him and that he left in peace.

She is compassionate.




Sapna hides her company access card cos she thinks it doesn’t carry her best pic. She doesn’t have Cindy Crawford hair or Angelina’s pout.

And she may be the most beautiful person I know.

She’ll stand for you if she thinks it is right. She’s the one who’d go out of her way to make sure everything is fine with her maid if the latter doesn’t show up for work one day. She’s the one who makes donations at charity houses consistently and discretely. She’s the one who’d volunteer to ‘go green’ and actually mean it.

At work, she was awarded last year for coming up with an initiative for new employees to find their way in the new office and in the new city. Her company said it helped new employees from other states to find their way easier in office and outside. They said it supported, familiarized and helped newcomers to get adjusted to the new life. Today, the HR considers her effort as a landmark achievement as it helped bring attrition down. But Sapna did not do it for the awards – she remembered how hard it was for her when she joined a new company in a new city. She felt she needed to do something for her new colleagues and just wanted to help them out; so she just collated her experiences, exposures, expenses and contacts. She’s just glad that it helped.

She is considerate.


And she is beautiful. She still has the pretty features which her hubby fell for, years before they got married. She does make heads turn, every now and then, when she goes for her shopping sessions. She tries to work out and eat healthy but also treats the family and friends to ice cream every once in a while. In a world obsessed with ‘smaller, thinner and fairer’, she believes and teaches her kids that the real beauty in all of us is ourselves. She believes the best make up is her belief in herself, her family and in God. She doesn’t believe in getting sucked, tucked and plucked and wants to age gracefully with her hubby but nevertheless uses beauty products to help her 'put her best face forward'. She is a doting mother, a darling daughter, a superb sister, a caring wife, a great friend, a trusted colleague and she juggles all these roles in a way only she can.


To the world of her loved ones, she the center of their universe.

For me, Sapna is caring, kind, compassionate and considerate. And she smiles a lot and is all heart. And Sapna is every woman. For me, Sapna is hence beautiful.

Today is Sapna’s birthday. And I woke up at 12 to wish her. I find it very difficult to wake up at midnight and I won’t do that for anyone.

Except Sapna.

Because she is be the most beautiful person I know.

J

Dove and Yahoo! salutes the triumphant spirit of the Indian woman with Yahoo! Real Beauty- 'What is 'real beauty' to you?'. Go on, join the conversation....

If you like this post, promote me at ib, like me on facebook, or follow me here. If not, let's go get some beer J.

She thinks, he thinks...

She thinks she’s fat.	He loves to hold her tight in the nights.
She thinks she’s got crowfeet near her eyes.	He loves the way her eyes shine when she smiles.
She thinks he looks at other women in front of her cos he’s not comfortable with her.	He looks at other women in front of her cos he’s most comfortable with her and her only, more than even his guy friends.
She wants to come home early to hit the treadmill.	He loves coming home early so that he can be with her.
She thinks she’s getting old and unattractive.	He loves to grow old with her.
She thinks…..	He loves…..
Because she is she.

Do check out my other two posts on real beauty - 'Most Beautiful' and 'Real Beauty in us'. :)

Dove and Yahoo! salutes the triumphant spirit of the Indian woman with Yahoo! Real Beauty - 'What is 'real beauty' to you?'. Go on, join the conversation....

If you like this post, promote me at ib, like me on facebook, or follow me here. If not, let's go get some beer J.

Thor The Movie - Review

Wait till after the movie closing credits finish – that’s the coolest thing about Thor!!!

The biggest thing that everybody misses in Thor is the ending – and by ending, I mean after all the closing credits are rolled out. Remember to stay EVEN after the credits are done. Trust me, that’s what everybody misses!!! And that adds an element of intrigue, “WOW” and a sense of still more to come to the movie.

This is not the first time a Marvel Comics movie had a similarly unexpected ending. I simply loved Iron Man. Tony Stark defied the superhero stereotype by being a womanizing, arrogant and wealthy prick, who lived life king size. And what made the whole movie work is the choice of the charming Robert Downey Jr as Tony Stark. Unlike other superhero movies like Spiderman and Batman where we always used to wait for the scenes where the superhero showed up, in Iron Man, I was just waiting for more scenes with Tony Stark. But one of the coolest Tony Stark scenes is actually not in Iron Man – it’s in the ending of another movie, the Hulk.

Marvel Comics has been shuffling superhero presences across their various offerings. Not many people noticed, but after the closing credits of Iron Man 2, the movie actually ends with a scene where the SHIELD agent, Agent Coulson, calls up his boss and says, “Sir, We found it ” and then the movie ends with an image of Thor’s hammer!!! (sure, go ahead n check it out here J).

The news is that Marvel has one more movie coming out in July this year in Captain America, after which you’ll see all the four, i.e, Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor and Captain America coming together next year in The Avengers. Thor is an extension of Marvel’s strategy to build superhero property out of its comics and monetize them.

Thor is the story of a warrior god, who is arrogant and too ballsy for his own good, who gets tamed to then become the King. Interspersed in this story is a hint of love (with Oscar winner Natalie Portman), sibling rivalry between Thor and his god brother Loki, his rocky relation with his father (Antony Hopkins) and all this with some great special effects.

An interesting thing about Thor is that even the Gods above agree that life on Earth is hell – so the God King, Thor’s father, sends his son god to exile as punishment - to Earth! Thor’s scenes on earth where he interacts with humans do provide some comic moments.

It’s a good movie nevertheless. The way the Heavens have been created with the visuals and costumes is very commendable. The story, even though kinda corny, has been adapted very well to screen. Chris Hemsworth is just right as Thor – the dude has got a body to kill for and in the scene where he tries to lift the hammer from the mud, he looks almost believable as a god. The Oscar winners did a decent job with their parts with Antony Hopkins having more meat to his role. See the ending after credits to know which character really scores.

But at the end of the day, Thor is just too goody goody a movie – it’s just another regular good movie. Even the finale fights were found wanting. Bottom line is: It’s a good movie but it doesn’t have the uber coolness of Iron Man or the depth of The Dark Knight.

But great fare for the summer. So just get the pop corn, colas and sit back to enjoy!!!

And don’t forget to stay after the credits!!

J

The greatest secret of Human Attraction

Even though Jerry Maguire owns the copyright, I think the most romantic line ever is "You complete me".

A close second are the Bryan Adams lines, which completely blew me off the first time I heard them, "You gotta breathe her, really taste her till you can feel her in your blood....and when u see your unborn children in her eyes, u know u really love a woman"....aaah, quivering in my knees :D

There was a time when Yash Chopra movies were the epitome of romance –the women were always good lukin, they looked great in white saris, they danced well in the rain and luckily for the hero, it always rained. Love was forever, everyone loved only once and whether they loved or they lost, they lived forever ever after in the memory of their beloved.

But today, love stories are fast, frivolous and fluffy. Social changes are best reflected in the movies of the time - in spite of a very conformist ending (to play to the gallery perhaps), ‘Love Aaj Kal’ actually had a point –Aaj ka Love is definitely different from the Love of the Kal. The ‘bridges of Madison County’ have today made way to ‘Friends with Benefits’ with absolutely ‘No Strings Attached’. Also there is a growing genre of movies that attempts to explore new love after an old. A sign of things to come? Most likely maybe… Multiple Dating has taken over the relationship space by storm. The phenomenon called Speed Dating is a phenomenal success - If jilted in love, clink your glass and move on to your next date in 5 minutes. And 5 minutes later, to the next, and so forth….

This post is inspired by friend who just got out of a 9 year relationship – heartbroken she was and I took her to a disc to cheer her up. I knew that she’d take a terribly long time to get over her ex but I was as shocked as she when she found a guy in the disc that night itself (and his pick up line was cornier than my ‘naam tho suna hoga’!). Now, unlike her other close friends, I’ll give you a minute to pass judgments on her character. Now, hold on to those judgments – we’ll be using them later in this post.

The greatest secret of Human Attraction is that nobody is indispensable - everybody is expendable. If you’ve fallen out of love, then you can just board the next bus coming along. Centuries of conditioning have led us to believe that in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, you should live and love only once, forever and for ever. They’ve made us believe in the virtues of monogamy and consider anything otherwise as sacrilegious–social norms tell us that it’s wrong and that it’s a sin. We have all been made to believe in this morality tale – the good will always stay loyal while the bad will stray. But the truth lies elsewhere. Human attraction knows none of these rules and you get naturally attracted to many. Just like we have many a friends, we are actually capable of having many a loves. We are actually capable of loving many. Blasphemy you say? Well, that’s exactly what we’ve been made to believe. If you made judgments about my friend above, then they’re the prejudices that you picked up along the way via years of conditioning, upbringing, social and religious values (and Yash Chopra J). Heer had only one Ranjha, Laila had just one Majnu and Romeo, his one true Juliet. But if you knew Romeo had a simultaneous thing going on with Suzanna, Roxanna, Ponamma and Banupriya too all along, he may not have turned out to be as celebrated as he currently is. History celebrates the monogamists, while the adulterers are just looked down upon.

And if you think about it, you’ll agree that this is based on the concept of individuality – there are 7 billion of us and each of us are different (of course, some literature say that there are 6 other people similar to you on earth. If any of my similar 6 is reading this, then please buy me a drink- if however your finances are also similar to mine, please don’t bother J). We are all special in our own right and different in our own ways. There’s always gonna be something special in your next that can help you overcome what was special in your ex. The key point is that you can move on.

And yes, we ourselves may believe that we cannot love again - we may feel guilty, incapable or devoid of love. And it may hurt like hell - even after Monday and Tuesday, the calendar will read ‘W T F’ (J) but wise men have said that the heart was, after all, made to be broken. And they have also said that the antidote to love is love itself. And that party abhi baaki hai. J

So go get bitten. Again.

Cos you can.

No chemical locha in my water please!!!

My Chemistry teacher was hot.

And I had a massive crush on her, which was one of the everlasting memories of my confused adolescence. Of course, I had to compete with 24 other similarly intentioned testosteroned classmates to gain her attention. To cut a long story short: Like every great love story, mine too ended without even starting (recurring story of my life).

After years of foul odors and failed experiments in labs, learning about atoms, molecules, elements, compounds, covalent bonds and periodic tables, the most important lesson I learnt in Chemistry was: Never lick the spoon.

For graduation, I opted out of chemistry and ever since, I had nothing to do with any chemicals except for my weekly rendezvous with ethanol (Bacardi for the uninitiated :P).

Or so I thought.

Now what if I tell you that somebody is putting harmful chemicals into all our bodies, making a fast buck out of it and killing all of us slowly? What if I tell you that harmful cancer-causing chlorine may have been entering your body and mine and that too, on a daily basis. And that you, your children, your parents, your siblings and your family may have been equally affected on a daily basis! Via your humble kitchen apparatus, the water purifier.

Shocked? Startled? Scared? Well, you should be.

The word of the day is Trichloroisocyanuric Acid or TCCA, for short – even though you might not be aware of it, but you may have been consuming this sinister compound on a regular basis. TCCA is used worldwide for sanitizing swimming pools and now, studies have shown that excessive swimming in such chlorinated pools can lead to cancer. Undoubtedly, TCCA is banned in the US from being used for household purification of drinking water. But the shocking fact is that in India, this material is used by many leading brands for household purification in their water purifiers – and we’re not even aware of it!!! Imagine feeding a baby with water from your chlorinated community swimming pool every day! Unnervingly, we may all be unknowingly drinking our way to cancer, kidney failure and other deadly diseases.

Alarmed? Agitated? Angry? Well, you should be.

This is serious stuff – Water is our basic life necessity and we resort to water purifiers so that the water we drink and feed our loved ones is as clean as possible. An Indian father will cut costs, conveniences and comforts to ensure a better livelihood for his children but will invest in costlier appliances in the hope that it will protect his family - big brands exploit this hope to make a quick buck. India does not have any existing standards for water purifiers and leading brands opportunistically use this loophole to employ such cheap but lethal materials to make a fast buck. We pay our hard earned money to protect ourselves and our families by trusting these leading brands and invest in such chemical based water purifiers. Its infuriating to know that to earn a few rupees more, leading brands are jeopardizing our lives. It enrages me to know that my 4 year old cousin may innocently be drinking this kind of water.

Thinking what can be done? Well, you should be.

As consumers, we should turn to safer chemical-free technologies like UV or Filtration(RO) for our water purification. However, not many people are aware of TCCA and its effects. The first thing is awareness – we need more people to be aware that this is affecting them, their families and their friends. Noted activist Bejon Mishra has highlighted in his whitepaper the safety issues concerning water purifiers. Mr Mishra has teamed up with Indiblogger to spread awareness on this issue. This post is written as an attempt to make aware, awaken and alert others of this crusade against chlorine. You could do your bit to support this movement by:

• Please download this image, copy it onto a word file and stick it in your office notice board so that more people can call the toll free number to get more information. (1800-11-4424)
• A facebook event has been created to mobilize support. All you need to do is just go to this page, hit ‘Like’, Share the link and Spread the word.
• Spread this post to as many people as possible.

As consumers, we have a right to know what chemicals are used in purifying our water. As Indians, we need to know if they are approved by world standards. As individuals, we need to know that the well being of our loved ones are not harmed.

Spreading the word? Well, you should be.

In the words of Mr Mishra himself, "this is not a movement against any company, any technology or against any water purifier brand but merely a small attempt at empowering us consumers". And yes of course, we’re saving ourselves and our loved ones, in the process.

So go to the facebook page, Hit 'Like', share n spread the word...

“No chemical locha in my water please!!!”

Hopefully, chemical ka chemical aur paani ka paani ho jayenge.

You can see other posts on this same mission. If you liked this post, vote for it here.

This post won the 'Crusade Against Chlorine ' Contest. :)

Why my blog is so named... :)

What is in a name? Well, I don’t know but I can tell you what’s in a number.

A long time back, someone once told me that my shoe size and my IQ are the same. Since at that time I didn’t know much about the IQ scale, I thought she was complementing me and I graciously replied, “Oh thank you and yes, I do wear a big shoe. Thank u for noticing!!!” J

Later when I became a bit more worldly wise, I unwittingly realized that these two numbers, head and toe apart, does not really amount to a complement when said in the same breath.

Again on numbers, I work in a number crunching job so I have frequent mental battles on a daily basis in converting billions into crores and vice versa. And some times, the results are revolutionary. I’m not alone with this talent- in my office, there’s another dude who holds the unenviable distinction of changing billion dollar companies into million dollar ones and vice versa in his reports (which are coincidently not too well received J). And the outcomes of my mathematical background (or rather, the lack of) are not exactly, very career friendly. And after some career defining moves of such nature, I have come to realize that there is a big deal in numbers – those extra zeros at the end does somehow seem to add up to something.

So back to the main topic - what about a name? Well as we all know, Shakespeare doesn’t seem to have an issue with it – according to his famous ‘Rose’ theory, a dead fish is equally dead in any other language and would smell just as bad.

Of late, a lot of thought, time and, talk have been spent with people asking me why my blog is named so. The good people that they are, they think there is some life altering reason why I named it the way I did. And I so very wish that I had a deep, touching and moving account of why I named it so - the irony of it all is that there really isn’t any- I just named it just like that (think I was even sober at the time, for a change J ).

I have friends refer to my blog as the ‘wo fuck waala blog’, ‘the fuck blog’ (no relations to India’s other literary erotic export) and various other derivations that bring out the versatility of the f-word ( on another note, its sometimes very inspiring to know that the f-word has been used as a verb, noun, adjective, adverb, exclamation, as a subject, object… in their humble description of my blog..rather than banning this word in school, I think it should be hailed and celebrated as the most versatile word in the Queen’s language).

Even fellow bloggers have said that there’s something shady about my blog judging the blog by its name. I keep reassuring them that beside the title, the blog is actually rather tame – hell, I even write on social topics J. Some blogger colleagues at office are afraid to open my blog in office in the fear that the obvious profanity in the name may alert my company’s ever vigilant web security patrol.

BlogAdda refuses to call my blog by what it is and refers to it as ‘Flove’. I wrote to them that this amounts to moral policing and is very unbecoming of a site of their repute and requested to leave the censorship to me and humbly asked them to change the name to what it really is. I wrote 11 mails and they still have not replied. It’s been two months (so much for the freedom of expression).

The high point of it all was recently when my dad got a facebook profile. After I unassumingly and proudly accepted his friend request (of course, I privacy protected all my pics :P), he called me up the next day and asked me why the hell did I name a blog like that. He said that we are all respectable people and well regarded in society and a name like this is very cheap and asked me to change it immediately. He also warned me that I will never get a bride because of my blog and ended the argument with “What will your colleagues’ think?”. I think my last thought was “Wow, more traffic”. J

So what is in a name? My take is “Everything”. You can’t put down a name like this and I have noticed that people get amused, slightly shocked, interested and even curious when I tell them the name of my blog. It’s easier to remember than a ‘Raj’s view on life’ or ‘A social experiment called Raj’ or whatever . It is a conversation starter, sometimes a conversation ender and it is backed by some amazingly written blogs (Modesty be damned! J). I remember spending a whole night to perfect my profile write up and I’m glad it came out the way it has. I remember picking and pruning parts of my life to write the Love Story. ‘Rain’ denotes the search in me to find the ‘me’ in life. ‘You go girl’ is my admiration to the women folk, especially of my company. ‘Hazare’ and ‘Daughters’ touched me. And here I attempt to capture the blood, toil, sweat, tears and views of my life, pickled and peppered with cheerful irreverence, with these words of mine. And what do I name thee? fucklove.

And fucklove it is – a blog on ‘life’ and other popular four letter words…..now playing at a website near you J.

I remember someone saying that when tigers die, they leave behind their skins; but when people die, they leave behind their names. Since ‘raj’ is easily the most maligned Indian name on the planet , I need another legacy - who knows, it might just be ‘fucklove’.

J

Hazaar Hazare Ho!!!

When a 73 year old man refused to eat, a 63 year old democracy found its appetite for expression.

What Anna Hazare did in 5 days is already part of social folklore- it connected with an underlying sense of frustration and helplessness that we citizens feel about the system. But what distinguished this revolution is the solidarity and support that was extended within a matter of hours.

People power woke up in India. People power has toppled governments, as seen with the Jasmine Revolution in the Middle East. India is not new to this phenomenon: the Hazare Revolution proved that the Jessica Lal uprising was not a flash in the pan. People do care. The ‘chaltha hai’ attitude that we are so (in)famously associated with just that- an association, and not our distinction. And now we’ve proved that we can and will take matters in our hands.

Once upon a time, democracy was by the people, of the people and for the people. Today, Indian democracy is largely by the politician, of the politician and for the politician. Can you believe a bunch of states are going to elections this week and we still don’t know who the chief minister designates are for many of the parties - the parties assume that once they are in power, they’ll decide who’s best for us. Is this really democracy?

But the Indian citizen is now shining. I’ve seen people who went out of their comfort zones to be part of the Hazare movement. People do care; all they needed was a platform to unite and channel their support. Hazare was the trigger and we, the common man, have made our move. People expressed support to the movement in various ways. Social media was buzzing with support. Networking sites actively shored up and galvanized support from across the nation and the Media connected more people to this cause. So potent was this new found force of the people that the government agreed to Hazare’s demands in a matter of days. People power triumphed, the common man woke up and democracy scored.

This is only the beginning.

India's Disappearing Daughters

Somebody once said that the safest place on earth is a mother’s womb.

However, the results from the latest Indian Census seem to negate the above statement. The biggest shock of this census is the decline in the child gender ratio at 914 girls (under the age of six) for every 1,000 boys. This is the lowest since Independence and is a steep drop from a high of 976 girls in the 1961 census. This is not just alarming, but Murder!!!

Female foeticide is as prevalent in literate urban India as it is in the rural side. The irony is that we as a country worship women – as mothers, as sisters, as goddesses – more so than many other countries: it’s ingrained in our cultures. “Mere Paas Maa Hai” is more than a filmy line –it is one of the most powerful lines ever made and it appeals to every Indian in a way no foreigner can comprehend; Raksha Bandhan is celebrated as much for brothers as it is for sisters; Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati are worshipped with religious ferocity across the length and breadth of the World’s rising new Super Power. Then how is that we resort to such inhuman treatment for the Devi, even before she’s born into our family?

Centuries of social conditioning have put the Son on a pedestal, while relegating the Daughter to under it. As a result, a mother who bears a son has a higher social standing than one who bears a daughter. This needs to stop. Women are the caretakers of our life – as mothers, as home makers, as colleagues - awareness need to be built to change our society to a gender-equal one.

The dowry system is seen to be another major cause of the female foeticide. The Dowry system is ingrained in our society. The concept of the Arranged Marriage feeds to this premise. With the rising number of divorces nowadays, India is slowly moving towards matrimony that is not ‘fixed’, but favored, and thus hopefully bring in the demise of the Dowry. But it will still take a lot many more suns when Dowry as a concept will be abolished from Indian soils.

Did you know that an doctor earns a paltry amount of around Rs 5000/- in Bangalore after his MBBS? I’ve been in Bangalore for 7 years now and I know that Rs 5K is nothing here. For an MBBS to stand on his feet, he needs to do an MD and even a super specialization after that. The irony is the number of MD seats in India is in a measly number in comparison to the rising number of MBBS students. This serious supply - demand skew jacks up the prices for the existing MD seats (last I heard, it’s about Rs. 60-75 Lakhs for the basic seat), taking it beyond the reach of many well qualified MBBS students. How can you expect a doctor to follow ethics when his basic livelihood is in question? Hence it’s not very surprising he resorts to the illegal pre natal gender determination tests to substantiate his already low income.

As citizens, we must understand that female foeticide is nothing short of murder. The authorities has made the right noises by establishing laws and help-lines to tackle female foeticide. It is up to us, as citizens, to bring in the next level of change, starting with our mindset, to end this social stigma.

For the India that we are, for the India that we’ll become and most importantly, for the India that we aspire to be, let us save our girls.