fuck love

a blog on 'life' and other popular four letter words...

Tuesday, February 1, 2011



Some call it `tears from heaven’; some others, `holywater from the Highlands’…I like to call rain `little, little drops of freedom’. I remember those good ol’ days when I actually let myself get wet in the rain; when I let myself splash in the muddy puddles and I would look up into the sky to let the water drops caress my face while I danced and sang in total abandon. I remember wishing that my father would come late to pick me up from school on rainy days so that I could free the child within me. I remember wishing that it would rain on holidays so that I could eat hot garma garm pakodas at home looking at the millions of droplets of water splashing across my bedroom window pane.

And then, I grew up…

I started wearing leather shoes, leather belts, mobiles, watches… which shouldn’t get wet. I locked the child inside me, inside me. I no longer wanted it to rain.

And it never did. For a long, long time…

Last November, I found myself making noises that I had forgotten about, heard myself laughing out loud, saw myself walking, running, screaming not bothering about the boundaries that I had created for myself. I looked into the eyes of total strangers and they were strangers no more. We let our bodies make individual senseless objects which in totality, made absolute sense. We were all part of the Yours Truly workshop. We made new friends there and we let the child inside us, come out.

I let the child inside me, come out.

The vibes at Yours Truly were infectiously positive and happiness and fun, are just few of the emotions felt at the workshop; there’s also fear (of letting go) and the exhilaration of having conquered these fears, the elation of having found the real me, hidden deep inside layers and layers of social conditioning, and the sheer joy of feeling truly, throbbingly alive. The first time I talked with Ranji (in my mind, I picture him as Peter Pan, the guy who brings the extraordinary into our ordinary lives :)) on phone about Your Truly, I was somehow overwhelmed by the feeling that this is where I belong . The workshop kindled my imagination and lit up my pent up creativity. One of the exercises I distinctly remember was walking blindfolded around Indiranagar, “seeing” the world through my senses of sound, smell and touch and by trusting a fellow YTian (Shanthakumar), who also helped in guiding my blindfolded way. Simply remarkable! (Though blindfolded, I like to think it opened my ‘eyes’.:) ) What I liked about the workshop is that it helps us break our mental blocks and helped us connect to hitherto unused/forgotten aspects of our mind, heart and head. The workshop taught us the basics of acting, expressing, to give 100% of ourselves into our acts and to simply let go. The workshop culminated with the ‘neat cocktail’ (intoxicating!), where we, under the able directorship of Ranji, Gopi and Sumit, put up our very own play. And from that day on, the show simply goes on….

Today, I find myself looking forward to my weekends to spent time with Yours Truly. It’s that time when the rules don’t really matter, when u can scream, laugh, shout, make faces and it’s all just alright… and it’s rubbed off into other areas of my life; I find myself more confident, more happy and I have a well rounded feeling about my life.

I’m glad the rain is back in my life


This entry won the Best 'One Thought' of the Quarter in the Yours Truly Newsletter. Yours Truly is a Bangalore based theatre group specializing in various formats of interactive, improvisatory and participatory theatre.

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