No chemical locha in my water please!!!

My Chemistry teacher was hot.

And I had a massive crush on her, which was one of the everlasting memories of my confused adolescence. Of course, I had to compete with 24 other similarly intentioned testosteroned classmates to gain her attention. To cut a long story short: Like every great love story, mine too ended without even starting (recurring story of my life).

After years of foul odors and failed experiments in labs, learning about atoms, molecules, elements, compounds, covalent bonds and periodic tables, the most important lesson I learnt in Chemistry was: Never lick the spoon.

For graduation, I opted out of chemistry and ever since, I had nothing to do with any chemicals except for my weekly rendezvous with ethanol (Bacardi for the uninitiated :P).

Or so I thought.

Now what if I tell you that somebody is putting harmful chemicals into all our bodies, making a fast buck out of it and killing all of us slowly? What if I tell you that harmful cancer-causing chlorine may have been entering your body and mine and that too, on a daily basis. And that you, your children, your parents, your siblings and your family may have been equally affected on a daily basis! Via your humble kitchen apparatus, the water purifier.

Shocked? Startled? Scared? Well, you should be.

The word of the day is Trichloroisocyanuric Acid or TCCA, for short – even though you might not be aware of it, but you may have been consuming this sinister compound on a regular basis. TCCA is used worldwide for sanitizing swimming pools and now, studies have shown that excessive swimming in such chlorinated pools can lead to cancer. Undoubtedly, TCCA is banned in the US from being used for household purification of drinking water. But the shocking fact is that in India, this material is used by many leading brands for household purification in their water purifiers – and we’re not even aware of it!!! Imagine feeding a baby with water from your chlorinated community swimming pool every day! Unnervingly, we may all be unknowingly drinking our way to cancer, kidney failure and other deadly diseases.

Alarmed? Agitated? Angry? Well, you should be.

This is serious stuff – Water is our basic life necessity and we resort to water purifiers so that the water we drink and feed our loved ones is as clean as possible. An Indian father will cut costs, conveniences and comforts to ensure a better livelihood for his children but will invest in costlier appliances in the hope that it will protect his family - big brands exploit this hope to make a quick buck. India does not have any existing standards for water purifiers and leading brands opportunistically use this loophole to employ such cheap but lethal materials to make a fast buck. We pay our hard earned money to protect ourselves and our families by trusting these leading brands and invest in such chemical based water purifiers. Its infuriating to know that to earn a few rupees more, leading brands are jeopardizing our lives. It enrages me to know that my 4 year old cousin may innocently be drinking this kind of water.

Thinking what can be done? Well, you should be.

As consumers, we should turn to safer chemical-free technologies like UV or Filtration(RO) for our water purification. However, not many people are aware of TCCA and its effects. The first thing is awareness – we need more people to be aware that this is affecting them, their families and their friends. Noted activist Bejon Mishra has highlighted in his whitepaper the safety issues concerning water purifiers. Mr Mishra has teamed up with Indiblogger to spread awareness on this issue. This post is written as an attempt to make aware, awaken and alert others of this crusade against chlorine. You could do your bit to support this movement by:

• Please download this image, copy it onto a word file and stick it in your office notice board so that more people can call the toll free number to get more information. (1800-11-4424)
• A facebook event has been created to mobilize support. All you need to do is just go to this page, hit ‘Like’, Share the link and Spread the word.
• Spread this post to as many people as possible.

As consumers, we have a right to know what chemicals are used in purifying our water. As Indians, we need to know if they are approved by world standards. As individuals, we need to know that the well being of our loved ones are not harmed.

Spreading the word? Well, you should be.

In the words of Mr Mishra himself, "this is not a movement against any company, any technology or against any water purifier brand but merely a small attempt at empowering us consumers". And yes of course, we’re saving ourselves and our loved ones, in the process.

So go to the facebook page, Hit 'Like', share n spread the word...

“No chemical locha in my water please!!!”

Hopefully, chemical ka chemical aur paani ka paani ho jayenge.

You can see other posts on this same mission. If you liked this post, vote for it here.

This post won the 'Crusade Against Chlorine ' Contest. :)

Why my blog is so named... :)

What is in a name? Well, I don’t know but I can tell you what’s in a number.

A long time back, someone once told me that my shoe size and my IQ are the same. Since at that time I didn’t know much about the IQ scale, I thought she was complementing me and I graciously replied, “Oh thank you and yes, I do wear a big shoe. Thank u for noticing!!!” J

Later when I became a bit more worldly wise, I unwittingly realized that these two numbers, head and toe apart, does not really amount to a complement when said in the same breath.

Again on numbers, I work in a number crunching job so I have frequent mental battles on a daily basis in converting billions into crores and vice versa. And some times, the results are revolutionary. I’m not alone with this talent- in my office, there’s another dude who holds the unenviable distinction of changing billion dollar companies into million dollar ones and vice versa in his reports (which are coincidently not too well received J). And the outcomes of my mathematical background (or rather, the lack of) are not exactly, very career friendly. And after some career defining moves of such nature, I have come to realize that there is a big deal in numbers – those extra zeros at the end does somehow seem to add up to something.

So back to the main topic - what about a name? Well as we all know, Shakespeare doesn’t seem to have an issue with it – according to his famous ‘Rose’ theory, a dead fish is equally dead in any other language and would smell just as bad.

Of late, a lot of thought, time and, talk have been spent with people asking me why my blog is named so. The good people that they are, they think there is some life altering reason why I named it the way I did. And I so very wish that I had a deep, touching and moving account of why I named it so - the irony of it all is that there really isn’t any- I just named it just like that (think I was even sober at the time, for a change J ).

I have friends refer to my blog as the ‘wo fuck waala blog’, ‘the fuck blog’ (no relations to India’s other literary erotic export) and various other derivations that bring out the versatility of the f-word ( on another note, its sometimes very inspiring to know that the f-word has been used as a verb, noun, adjective, adverb, exclamation, as a subject, object… in their humble description of my blog..rather than banning this word in school, I think it should be hailed and celebrated as the most versatile word in the Queen’s language).

Even fellow bloggers have said that there’s something shady about my blog judging the blog by its name. I keep reassuring them that beside the title, the blog is actually rather tame – hell, I even write on social topics J. Some blogger colleagues at office are afraid to open my blog in office in the fear that the obvious profanity in the name may alert my company’s ever vigilant web security patrol.

BlogAdda refuses to call my blog by what it is and refers to it as ‘Flove’. I wrote to them that this amounts to moral policing and is very unbecoming of a site of their repute and requested to leave the censorship to me and humbly asked them to change the name to what it really is. I wrote 11 mails and they still have not replied. It’s been two months (so much for the freedom of expression).

The high point of it all was recently when my dad got a facebook profile. After I unassumingly and proudly accepted his friend request (of course, I privacy protected all my pics :P), he called me up the next day and asked me why the hell did I name a blog like that. He said that we are all respectable people and well regarded in society and a name like this is very cheap and asked me to change it immediately. He also warned me that I will never get a bride because of my blog and ended the argument with “What will your colleagues’ think?”. I think my last thought was “Wow, more traffic”. J

So what is in a name? My take is “Everything”. You can’t put down a name like this and I have noticed that people get amused, slightly shocked, interested and even curious when I tell them the name of my blog. It’s easier to remember than a ‘Raj’s view on life’ or ‘A social experiment called Raj’ or whatever . It is a conversation starter, sometimes a conversation ender and it is backed by some amazingly written blogs (Modesty be damned! J). I remember spending a whole night to perfect my profile write up and I’m glad it came out the way it has. I remember picking and pruning parts of my life to write the Love Story. ‘Rain’ denotes the search in me to find the ‘me’ in life. ‘You go girl’ is my admiration to the women folk, especially of my company. ‘Hazare’ and ‘Daughters’ touched me. And here I attempt to capture the blood, toil, sweat, tears and views of my life, pickled and peppered with cheerful irreverence, with these words of mine. And what do I name thee? fucklove.

And fucklove it is – a blog on ‘life’ and other popular four letter words…..now playing at a website near you J.

I remember someone saying that when tigers die, they leave behind their skins; but when people die, they leave behind their names. Since ‘raj’ is easily the most maligned Indian name on the planet , I need another legacy - who knows, it might just be ‘fucklove’.

J

Hazaar Hazare Ho!!!

When a 73 year old man refused to eat, a 63 year old democracy found its appetite for expression.

What Anna Hazare did in 5 days is already part of social folklore- it connected with an underlying sense of frustration and helplessness that we citizens feel about the system. But what distinguished this revolution is the solidarity and support that was extended within a matter of hours.

People power woke up in India. People power has toppled governments, as seen with the Jasmine Revolution in the Middle East. India is not new to this phenomenon: the Hazare Revolution proved that the Jessica Lal uprising was not a flash in the pan. People do care. The ‘chaltha hai’ attitude that we are so (in)famously associated with just that- an association, and not our distinction. And now we’ve proved that we can and will take matters in our hands.

Once upon a time, democracy was by the people, of the people and for the people. Today, Indian democracy is largely by the politician, of the politician and for the politician. Can you believe a bunch of states are going to elections this week and we still don’t know who the chief minister designates are for many of the parties - the parties assume that once they are in power, they’ll decide who’s best for us. Is this really democracy?

But the Indian citizen is now shining. I’ve seen people who went out of their comfort zones to be part of the Hazare movement. People do care; all they needed was a platform to unite and channel their support. Hazare was the trigger and we, the common man, have made our move. People expressed support to the movement in various ways. Social media was buzzing with support. Networking sites actively shored up and galvanized support from across the nation and the Media connected more people to this cause. So potent was this new found force of the people that the government agreed to Hazare’s demands in a matter of days. People power triumphed, the common man woke up and democracy scored.

This is only the beginning.

India's Disappearing Daughters

Somebody once said that the safest place on earth is a mother’s womb.

However, the results from the latest Indian Census seem to negate the above statement. The biggest shock of this census is the decline in the child gender ratio at 914 girls (under the age of six) for every 1,000 boys. This is the lowest since Independence and is a steep drop from a high of 976 girls in the 1961 census. This is not just alarming, but Murder!!!

Female foeticide is as prevalent in literate urban India as it is in the rural side. The irony is that we as a country worship women – as mothers, as sisters, as goddesses – more so than many other countries: it’s ingrained in our cultures. “Mere Paas Maa Hai” is more than a filmy line –it is one of the most powerful lines ever made and it appeals to every Indian in a way no foreigner can comprehend; Raksha Bandhan is celebrated as much for brothers as it is for sisters; Durga, Lakshmi and Saraswati are worshipped with religious ferocity across the length and breadth of the World’s rising new Super Power. Then how is that we resort to such inhuman treatment for the Devi, even before she’s born into our family?

Centuries of social conditioning have put the Son on a pedestal, while relegating the Daughter to under it. As a result, a mother who bears a son has a higher social standing than one who bears a daughter. This needs to stop. Women are the caretakers of our life – as mothers, as home makers, as colleagues - awareness need to be built to change our society to a gender-equal one.

The dowry system is seen to be another major cause of the female foeticide. The Dowry system is ingrained in our society. The concept of the Arranged Marriage feeds to this premise. With the rising number of divorces nowadays, India is slowly moving towards matrimony that is not ‘fixed’, but favored, and thus hopefully bring in the demise of the Dowry. But it will still take a lot many more suns when Dowry as a concept will be abolished from Indian soils.

Did you know that an doctor earns a paltry amount of around Rs 5000/- in Bangalore after his MBBS? I’ve been in Bangalore for 7 years now and I know that Rs 5K is nothing here. For an MBBS to stand on his feet, he needs to do an MD and even a super specialization after that. The irony is the number of MD seats in India is in a measly number in comparison to the rising number of MBBS students. This serious supply - demand skew jacks up the prices for the existing MD seats (last I heard, it’s about Rs. 60-75 Lakhs for the basic seat), taking it beyond the reach of many well qualified MBBS students. How can you expect a doctor to follow ethics when his basic livelihood is in question? Hence it’s not very surprising he resorts to the illegal pre natal gender determination tests to substantiate his already low income.

As citizens, we must understand that female foeticide is nothing short of murder. The authorities has made the right noises by establishing laws and help-lines to tackle female foeticide. It is up to us, as citizens, to bring in the next level of change, starting with our mindset, to end this social stigma.

For the India that we are, for the India that we’ll become and most importantly, for the India that we aspire to be, let us save our girls.

From the diary of a Womanizer.......

Women love him. Men otherwise.

He’s always seen with a lady friend by his side. And for the few occasions where he’s seen with men, he always seems to blend in into his surroundings but yet, he somehow stands out. There’s something about him that makes him the center of attraction even when he’s not.

Maybe it’s his dressing style. He accessorizes his wardrobe with the latest that fashion has to offer – he is in fashion and fashion is in him. He has always strived to be the best dressed man in the room and he invariably is. He’s well read, well opinionated and can strike an engaging conversation with anyone – in his own words, he is a cunning linguist and a master debater, in all glory to the pun.

Of course, he’s in love. But always, in and out of it. The one everlasting love relation he has is with himself and that is his only claim to fidelity. He has loved once, the way you and me love; but he was shattered with the way it went. Today’s his biggest heartbreak is his biggest learning and contrary to others’ perceptions of him, he actually respects women; it’s monogamy that he disrespects.

He has said ‘Hello’ more times than ‘Goodbye’ but unknown to the world around him, with each Goodbye, another part of his heart cracks. But he keeps that only to himself; to the world, he hides his pain, frustration and loneliness behind his charming smile. And to take his mind off it, he tries to makes his life as interesting as possible by being open minded, which in turn attracts more people to his life.

While men have hated and secretly admired his guts, women have called him a friend, a lover, a final fling, a heartbreaker, a bastard (the most common) and many, many more…..

They say that every woman wants to be with a womanizer, hoping that she will be his last.

“Oh, how they fail…… “, he thinks to himself and smiles….

And the Best Comment goes to....

Obviously this idea is not mine(like all good things in life J) but I thought why not I commend on the best comments that others have left on my blog. So here goes:

For the random time period ending 12^th March, please find the best commenter in each category.

Most commented commenter: (Award for the person who made the most number of comments)

We have a tie here between Pramodji (http://likemymusings.blogspot.com/) and Red (http://anuglyhead.blogspot.com/)

Longest Comment : (Award for the person who made the longest comment)

By Red (http://anuglyhead.blogspot.com/)

Comment was :

“wow!! that was a nice intro..

two lines whr taken from the father ...i mean google. The forbes one nd the looking at work all day long one.

You really have a passion for movies like dabang? i hope tht was sarcastic.

Nd i support your concept of billionaire. we might be penniless but why let the world know :P”

This was for the post: http://fu-ck-lo-ve.blogspot.com/2011/01/his-name-is-r-j.html

“Yikes, what was that again?” comment : (Award for the person who made the strangest comment)

By VK (http://vkfeel.blogspot.com/): yes sir, you do paint a lovely picture J

Comment was:

“try writing a situation again pissing, next to your father, elder brother, father in law, and such odd ones. what could be results in every scenario?”

This was for the post: http://fu-ck-lo-ve.blogspot.com/2011/03/pissing-away-ur-career.html

Most profoundest comment: (Award for the person who made the comment with the deepest meaning)

By Harish (http://diaryofaragingbull.blogspot.com/)

Comment was:

“lol... moments in urinal can be career defining.”

This was for the post: http://fu-ck-lo-ve.blogspot.com/2011/03/pissing-away-ur-career.html

Best career advice comment:

Definitely Pramodji (http://likemymusings.blogspot.com/)

Comment was:

“Raj, hee- haw,hee- hee -, if you've heard from naukri. com

Go ahead n piss on him, but whatever you do, be brief.”

This was again for the post: http://fu-ck-lo-ve.blogspot.com/2011/03/pissing-away-ur-career.html

Congrats 2 the winners.... till next week, keep commenting, folks....

R-A-J

:)

Pissing away ur career.....

To all the men out there, has this ever happened to you:

You’re in the loo at the urinal and you’re relieving yourself, with your mind and body in total bliss and relaxed abandon as you’re finally able to take a load off yourself (J), when suddenly, your boss walks up and positions himself strategically in the urinal next to you.

What do you do?

I’ve had this instance one too many times and each time, my reaction to this situation has moved from utter awkwardness to even more. I still don’t know what to do in such a stress test (stress, by the way, is not really helpful for the problem in hand J). Friendly guy that I am, I blurt out to my boss in his intimate moment with himself, “Hey, how’s it going?” And his subsequent icy cold stare was more than enough for me to realize that that question was not the most apt one for that particular situation. It obviously is a tough question for him in that situation, and the probable list of answers to it can suggest the very unpalatable to even questioning his manhood. Of course, the intent of my question was pure and innocent bonhomie however the locational aspects of the particular question gave what was otherwise a very harmless question some seriously suggestive undertones. And understandably, my boss couldn’t answer; So all he resorted to in reply was a malevolent stare, enough to send a cold wave down the length and breadth of my already frozen body and the attached fleshy appendages. As I respond to his spiteful gaze with a sheepish smile, mental pictures of a bad appraisal, difficult projects and generally a hard time (no pun intended) in office came to my mind. Terms like ‘pissing away my career’ suddenly started to make sense to me.

This has happened one too many times, so now I try not to engage in small talk in the small room. But this is difficult for me; I've always been a friendly guy and am just used to saying ‘Hi’ even without thinking; so it’s difficult to for me to not say anything when I see a familiar face. The other obvious thing which I usually do nowadays, is to just shut up and focus on the task at hand and concentrate on not missing the imaginary target that I fire at with full force and with intense concentration.

So my boss’s boss walks in and stands in the urinal right next to me. Friendly guy that I am, I blurt out again, “So how’s it hanging?”

!!!

I might need another job.

(My friend Sachin gave me this idea..awesum one :))

Join the queue....:)

This is a prize winning speech delivered for the 2010 Humorous Speech Competition. This speech was again made at a Toast Masters Cub in Bangalore recently. Besides lookin fat and perpetually drunk and not having many people laughing at my jokes here, this speech won the Area level contest last November (Of course, there was more preparation then :))

(Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOqdH6fUjG0)

Suggest you see the video before going through the post below.

:)

==========================================================

What do women want?

They want Affection.

A lotta Admiration, Devotion, and Dedication .

Commitment, Conversation, Communication, Chocolate.

Candle Lit Dinners,

Sweet, Sweet, Nothings,

Tender Love and ...

Care.

And what do men want?

Beer.

Period.

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus; they are NOT supposed to combine.

But they do; and this combination is called ...Marriage!

Now before marriage, when a man holds a woman's hand, it is called...love; after marriage, it is called self defense.

Now in India, there is a special type of marriage...it is called Arranged Marriage; it is a marriage which is well, 'fixed' - a 'fixed' marriage. Think of it - a 'fixed' marriage? If you put the word 'fixed' before another commonly used term, 'cricket match', it becomes 'fixed cricket match'. A fixed cricket match? And we as a nation, has got a problem with any cricket match which is fixed. But we have absolutely no problem with a marriage which is similarly 'fixed'!!!

"Fixed Cricket Match!!! Ajay Jadeja!! Azharuddin!!!", What did we do with them? We banned them for life!!!

"Fixed Arranged Marriage!!! Boy and Girl!!!", What did we do with them?

We celebrate!!!

Balle! Balle!

Now I'm that stage of getting married and I'm not getting a lot of good feedback about marriage. From various sources. I'll start with the Internet:

If you go to the net and type, "Advantages of Marriage", even Google gets confused....

If you tell people that you're married, they sympathize with you.....

You don't believe me? In any organization, it is the married people who can leave early, the unmarried folks are expected to work all night. I asked my boss why this is so and he told me, "They're married: they're already suffering. You won't understand...."

Now as a part of this arranged marriage loop, even I too have met some women. And I've noticed that nobody talks during these meetings; everybody communicates only with their eyes. Last month, me and my parents went to met this lady and we were sitting in the living room of her house, waiting for her. Eventually she came with the traditional tray of tea, coffee, sweets biscuits, but she doesn't look at me. She coyly hides her face behind her hands and peeps (see attached video). My mom sits opposite to me and she doesn't say anything either but she looks at me and gives me a knowing look, implying that the girl is good. My sister sits next to me and she doesn't say anything but she alternatively looks at herself and to the girl ; she's thinking to herself, "Is my sari better or is her sari better?". My dad sits on the corner and he doesn't say anything but he's looking all around- he's measuring them; he's thinking to himself, "They have one clock- I have two clocks. They have 2 curtains - I have 4 curtains"...... And after all this drama, we drive back home, some 250 kilometers away, and in the evening, the girl's father calls us up and says, "Sorry, horoscopes don't match!!!" After all this drama!!!

The point I'm trying to make is that I'm in the pursuit of getting married but the various messages that I get from various sources seem to tell me that marriage is a bad idea, whether its the internet, my boss, my own experiences. Even my married friends tell me not to get married. In fact, I have this friend, who's a very close friend of mine, and he's been married for a very long while now, and I really don't think he's very happy with his marriage. I mean, before marriage, he was this tall, strong and established guy; after marriage, his establishment fell down. Before marriage he was six-pack, baby, six-pack..after marriage, he became family pack.... And he was telling me this story...He lives in Indiranagar and one day, he goes to MG Road and he sees his huge crowd of people, some 200-300 people walking forward, and at the very front, they're carrying two boxes. Now my friend gets all curious and he thinks its some VIP or something, and he goes to the crowd, joins the crowd, some 200-300 people, he walks with the crowd and goes to the very front where they're carrying the two boxes and asks the man in front, "Excuse me, hi, what's with the boxes?"

And the man says, "It's my wife. She died."

And my friend says, "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. How did it happen?"

And the man says, "Well, she was trying to feed the dog, and the dog bit her, and she died."

And my friend says, "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that! "

Now my friend sees the other box and he's curious again. He asks the man again, "Don't mind me asking, but what's with the other box?"

And the man says, "Its my mother-in-law. She tried to save my wife from the dog, but the dog bit her also and she also died."

Now my friend starts thinking. And after a lot of careful thought, he asked the man, "Can I borrow the dog?"

And the man said, pointing backwards, "Sure, join the queue."

:)

The Return of the King

Once upon a time, he said, “I’ll be back”.

And he did. And how.

And then he left. Supposedly for good. And a million fans around the world despaired. Ten years later, these million fans grew up. And then he said again, “I’ll be back”.

I don’t know about the millions but I know I am excited. For a second, it took me back to those days when as a kid, I used to follow each and every movie of this man. I remember the huge poster of his that adorned my bedroom wall. I remember fighting with my parents for the TV remote so that I could watch the latest movie of his at the expense of my mom's 'saas bahu' serials. I remember always being inspired by his story: he was an Austrian malnourished kid, and to avoid being bullied by bigger kids, he got into body building. He later went on to become the strongest man in the Universe. Thrice. Then he headed over to Hollywood with broken English and a name that was too long to be displayed on the billboards. People told him he had no chance in movies and to shut shop and go back home. And then the Terminator was born; Action movies were never the same after that. He later went on to become the greatest action movie star in the world. Then he quit movies and all that jazz to become the governor of California. However whenever there came a movie with him in a small role, I used to call all my old friends, now all grown up, and talk about the good ol days. And we all became kids again talking about Commando, Predator, Running Man, Total Recall and the like. The last such movie I remember doing this was The Expendables (Of course, Stallone and Schwarzenegger in the same frame was worth the ticket!)

In his absence, action got redefined; action became slick n stylish (a la 300), action got high tech, with CG and FX (Transformers), action became superheroic (Iron Man, X Men…) taking the place of good ol’ old fashioned brawn. But somehow robots and super heroes just didn’t give action its soul. They are all good movies, but they aren’t the action that he represented; the type that satisfied very kid’s fantasy where one man could single handedly bash up all the bad guys with his bare hands. Today’s action movies are just clever amalgamations of good graphics, good visuals or good scripts. We so badly needed the last action hero.

And last week, he said that he’ll be back. And it looks like that he will be. He said in an earlier interview that is looking at three different scripts, including “With Wings as Eagles,” where he would play a WWII German soldier who disobeys orders and rescues prisoners of war.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is back where he belongs.

Bangkok Terrible!!!! :)

Oh, by the way, bachelors go to Thailand for exactly what you think they’re going for. They say that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas but what happens in Thailand, never happened. J

Some time back, a whole lot of us went to Thailand. And understandably, it raised a lot of eyebrows within our immediate social circles. Since it was an official tour, our parents were afraid that we’d mix business with pleasure. J Even today, we get questions with a wink, “So how was it?”, which we reciprocate with an equally suggestive wink, “Not bad at all!” J

Someone once said, ”Go to Heaven for the view and to Hell, for the company”. We clearly did not have a purpose for the trip but I must say, we got what we were looking for J . Thailand, in my opinion, is perfect for a holiday: It’s beautiful, very cost effective, very safe, with friendly people and for the shopaholic, Thailand offers some really mean bargains. Also, Bangalore is well connected to Thailand - there’s a daily 1230 AM flight to and a 1130 PM flight back from Bangkok- so you can leave after dinner and be back before breakfast J .Visa is on arrival, which is a fairly simple process, and it’s very easy going about in Bangkok via bus, taxi and the metro (superlike!). Our trip consisted of two days in Bangkok and two days in Pattaya and the highlights were the beach, shopping and the night life.

Now I’m a beach person - I simply love the beach. There’s nothing that gives me more pleasure than to sit on an easy chair, kick up my naked feet on a stool and laze around by reading a book looking at the sun setting into the sea. Never in my life had I seen the ocean so blue set against the sun shining so bright and the sand running so smoothly between my toes. The sun covers you in a cozy warmth and you can feel the warm waves caress your feet as you lie by the shore. And add a cold chilled beer to tickle your taste buds and it is an experience that is nothing short of heaven. Also for the adventure seeker, there are various options like para gliding, speed boating and underwater walks (see pic). And there is an inexplicable thrill of walking by the beach; as I walked by the waves, my mind was filled with various random thoughts about me, my life and many other grandiose thoughts. It was so soothing and relaxing and all you see around are people who are just happy and having fun: children building sand castles, couples holding hands, friends having fun: no wonder this place is known as ‘the land of the smiles’ . J

On bargain shopping in Thailand, consider that the Thai currency, the baht, is comparable to the Indian rupee in purchasing power (1 Bhat = 1.5 Indian rupee, the last time I checked). Most of the bargains can be found in the night markets or the streets of Bangkok; however if you don’t want to walk around a lot, you could find a lot of stuff at the huge shopping mall called MBK. The beauty of MBK is that you have everything under one roof though is slightly over priced. In our case, since we all had a heavy late lunch, we all decided to take a long walk and we all walked away from the MBK mall, with no particular destination in mind, guided towards all the lights and sounds and on the way, we found many street shops that we realized were put up only in the evenings; it was here that we got some amazing bargains on cotton clothes, souvenirs and knick knacks. We just kept walking and whenever we got tired, we’d take the sky train and go the opposite direction and then start walking again in some other random direction. Finally when we were sufficiently lost, sufficiently tired and had sufficiently shopped , we took a cab back to our hotel. Thailand is known for jewels and rare stones, but make sure you buy it from the authorized jewelers. Also recommended for the buying list is clothes. And some heavy duty bargaining. You have got to bargain here big time! An interesting suggestion which a successful shopaholic passed on to me was to always smile when bargaining with the shopkeepers; it almost always works in reducing the prices!!

Thailand is known for its night life (Ya baby ya!!! J). You have pubs and bars that are open till the wee hours of the morning. In fact, the day starts in the evening there. In Pattaya, the night life is centered around a mile long stretch called the Walking Street. Vehicles are banned here and all you do here is, well, just walk J . On this little stretch of road, you have hotels, shops, bars, pubs but what really makes it truly amazing is that, in this street, you see people from all over the world – Indians, Europeans, Americans, Japanese, Arabs…you name it, they’re there. My friends and I used to play this game where we tried to guess which country people were by observing their mannerisms. What makes things even more interesting is also that there are a lot of women who entice you into buying them a drink at the nearby bar. A lady dragged my friend to the nearby bar and he had to buy her drinks, but it’s all done so playfully that it’s all in good fun and humor. The thai food is delicious though I’m a big fan of the American cheeseburger and cold beer. The people are very warm and friendly and you are almost always usually welcomed with their greeting known as “Sawadee”, the thai equivalent of the Namaste. Almost everyone speaks English so we had no problems in communication. We had a ball of a night and reached back to our hotel room at 5 in the morning.

They say that no one realizes how beautiful a trip was until he comes home and rests his head on his old, familiar pillow. On reaching home, our minds, hearts and souls were filled with the sights, sounds and smells of that marvelous beach city, Thailand. The purpose of our trip was nothing and we were more than happy with it.

The trip to Bangkok was 'terrible' as even after we've left the place, the place hasn't left us...memories of that amazing place still lingers and haunts us even today. I stand testimony to how great that place is: I have been going to Thailand every October for the last three years now. Amazing Thailand.

Waiting for October.

J

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Love.Story.Heart.

I proposed to her 13 times and she said 'No' all the 13 times.

Opposite attract.

And it is this attraction that is the breeding ground for a very powerful type of electric chemistry. Neha and I are the perfect examples of staunch opposites. We studied together and while she was the teacher’s pet, the same teacher treated me like some lost pet. While she was the Maths topper, I was the undisputed champion of flunking not just Maths, but all the other subjects too (My unbroken record of scoring ‘zero-outta hundred’ for all six semester tests still remains unbroken). While she was the lady everybody wanted to date, I just wanted to date everybody (Gender rules applied!). While she was the college fashionista, my aversion to water and shaving didn’t really help my score on the style quotient. And yet, we somehow connected; there existed a magical chemistry between the two of us. We both hail from God’s own country and whenever we talked in our highly polished convent educated English, our version of the Queen’s language somehow had a faint un-kingly mallu accent, which we both laughed off together many a times. We were always part of different friend groups but we used to find each other in our crowd of friends and always tried to sit next to each other as much as possible for the group eating sessions and the weekend movies with all the friends. We realized that we both liked exactly 3 ice cubes for our vodka and quirkily, both of us loved mayonnaise with our grilled chicken. We loved the same TV shows and hated the same movies. Inspite of all our glaring differences, we had a lot of things in common.

But she never said Yes to me. For 13 times.

And I never took No for an answer. For 13 times.

But after all the times she said ‘No’, she used to greet me with her beautiful broad smile the next day and warmly console me saying “at least, we’re good friends”. And then after a while, I’d propose to her again. And she’d reject me again. And she’ll console me again with her lovely smile the next day. And this went on again and so forth. But with each rejection, we got more and more close. And slowly, we had become inseparable.

Like all good things in life, college came to an end. And while she got placed in Bangalore, I had to relocate to Amsterdam for three years. She had to go to her new office almost as soon as we finished college while I had about 2 months before leaving the country. I decided to be in Bangalore for the two months rather than going home to Kerala so that I could be with her before my three year stint in Amsterdam. I also wanted to propose to her one last time before being separated from her for what then seemed like eternity.

As college got over, we needed to move out of the college hostel and she needed to get a new place to stay. I stayed at my relatives place in Indiranagar. I helped Neha with getting a nice house near her new office, I helped her with buying the furniture, I helped her with getting the gas connection and I helped her with looking into the details of her rent agreement and I made sure I got her her favorite red, red roses every now and then. I helped her cos she gave me that beautiful broad smile of hers more often. I helped her cos I felt happy helping her. I helped her cos I simply wanted to. I helped her cos I was in love. During the day when she went to her office in Koramangala, I used to wait at my relatives place in Indiranagar and in the evening at 6:30, I used to meet up with her and spent time with her till about 10:30 after which I caught the last bus back to Indiranagar. This routine went for the most of the two months. But I still hadn’t proposed to her for the 14^th time. Also I did feel that she was expecting me to propose to her before leaving the country. So a week before my flight to Amsterdam, I went home to Kerala to bid adieu to my loved ones there and decided to come back to Bangalore a day earlier. Neha was expecting me a day later so I thought I’d surprise her. I was going to propose to Neha for the 14^th and final time. I was nervous but I knew that 14 would be my lucky number.

I reached Bangalore at 6 in the evening and as soon as I reached, I bought a huge bunch of big red roses, the type she liked, and headed straight to her house. I was carrying the huge bunch of roses which covered almost half my body. I gave a big smile to the many, many amused onlookers. As I reached her house, I could hear my heart pounding against my chest. I was really nervous but I knew that everything would turn out well. I stood at her front door and I rehearsed my lines again for the umpteenth time. As I was taking a deep breath, I noticed that her front door was open and I could hear noises from inside the house. She must be making evening tea or something, I thought to myself. As I passed through the partially open door, I walked into her living room. The room was still dark but I could see light from her bed room across the hall. Suddenly I felt that something was amiss. Something was not right. I slowly walked towards the lit up bedroom. And then I heard Neha saying something. There was somebody else with her in her bedroom!!! As I slowly walked towards the brightly lit room, I slowly started to see clothes which were scattered untidily all around the bed. And then, what I saw next froze me in my footsteps.

Neha was in the arms of a man in red, I still don’t remember what he wore but I knew it was distinctly red. They both stood by the bed and he was standing facing towards me and she had her head rested against his chest. He had his arms around her and I think I saw a smile on her face, which was largely covered in his embrace. It was a fire-freeze moment for me: when multiple sets of strong opposing emotions were running frantically against each other in my mind. I wanted to yell out but I could not find my voice. I wanted to lunge the huge bunch of roses, the ones she liked, at him but I could not even move. I was angry, agitated and was screaming wildly inside my mind and yet I did not make a sound. A violent and dirty sense of hatred for the man in red passed through me which was opposed by a deep feeling of love for the one who was in his arms. I could feel blood rushing furiously into my face, tears building up in my eyes, I couldn’t breathe properly and felt that I would choke but I neither cried nor whimpered. I wanted to run far, far away but I also wanted to stay back and ask her how she could do what she was doing then. I did none of the above. I just stood there frozen with a heavy floral bunch in my hand looking at the love of my life in the arms of another man.

She slowly opened her eyes to see me standing right behind her and I saw her smile fade. As her eyes met with mine, I regained my composure and I stormed out of her house in a violent rage that shook off most of the petals off the roses and I marched away in utter disgust. The last I heard was her calling out my name behind me. I suddenly started running in some random direction and kept running. A flood of tears clouded my sight but I still kept running aimlessly. An hour or two later, I found myself sitting under a tree, humiliated, exhausted and dejected.

A week later I left the country with my heavily broken heart.

Three years later, I realized that three years in a foreign country is a really long period of time. I realized that three years is enough time to understand words like loneliness, friends, family and forgiveness. Since mobiles or internet hadn’t become big then, my only contact with home was the weekly ISD calls. I realized that I wanted to come back home as soon as possible. I realized that I was missing the Indianness in my life. I realized that I was missing my life in India. I also realized that I was still madly in love with Neha. But nobody I knew had any idea where she was. There were also rumors that she was about to get married. Three years later, I also learnt that the man in red who I saw her hugging that day was her younger brother Montu. I realized that I had to do something with my life and I had do it fast. But I didn’t know what to do.

Today, 11 years after that fire-freeze moment, I’m back here in India. I have two beautiful children, Neil and Nikila, and the man in red is today, my brother-in-law.

I proposed to her 13 times and she said No all the 13 times.

She never said Yes to me. For 13 times.

But I never took No for an answer. for 13 times.

She later told me that she said Yes to me for the 14^th time not because of any ever blasting love but because she simply got fed up of saying ‘no’ and that she hoped that, at least a ‘Yes’ would shut me up.

Liar she is.

J

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Have you ever had a similar fire-freeze moment - an unforgettably magical moment when you felt two strongly opposite emotions? Love/Hate? Elation/Sadness? Anger/Sympathy? The desire to move forward yet run away at the same time?

From one soul to another...

What is it to be a child again?

It must be about still believing in loveliness, still believing in love, still believing that the angels and fairies reach out to whisper in our ears, still believing in beauty and peace in the heart and soul. It’s about still having the spirit, cleansed by baptism, still intact and untainted within us. And it’s about innocence and about purity.

I once told a friend that the soul is the purest and most beautiful thing in the world; and we keep picking up grudges and bitterness along the course of life and stain our souls. Children still have that purity we were born with, still intact in their souls. Our show at Makkala Jagriti was indeed special. It was the day we denim clad urban cowboy souls made a difference to a lives of a lot of little souls. It was when the show was judged not by ticket sales or sold-out signs but by pure enthusiasm, heartfelt appreciation and innocent admiration. It was when we discovered the true power of theatre; of reaching out and connecting. From the stage to outside it. From one soul to another.

My one thought was when we asked the children what they wanted to be when they grew up. Some said doctor, some engineer, some actor….. One day, they might just become that; or may become something better. The thing is we might just never know. We might just never meet these little guys again. But what we do know is that for that one day, we were all together in that room and we truly and really connected. And I don’t think either of us will forget that in a hurry.

The most distinct thought in my mind was Neeraj asking a child (Suleiman Khan) what he wanted to do and Suleiman said that he wanted to be an actor, a hero and Neeraj put a cape around his neck and did a Superman. I think it brought the house down. Now Neeraj and I have one thing in common : Kannada language doesn’t know us so we place Kannada up there with Greek, Latin and Malayalam (Score: Raj-1, Neeraj-0; I know mallu! J). But without knowing Kannada (or vice versa), I think Neeraj did a great job. And of course, the other actors were brilliant their unique ways; the other guys from the heart-touching club (actors) being Tanvi, Abhijit, Chetan, Sudharshan, Vishal and the MC Ashish. We volunteers were lucky to have experienced anything like the act these guys put up that day. Kudos to Madhu, Nandhini, Ranji, Sumit and Gopi for making all this happen.

They say that the remainder of a year will be a reflection of the first act you do that year.

This year should rock!!!

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This entry won the Best Review for a Show by Yours Truly. This show was at Makkala Jagriti, an NGO based out of Bangalore (http://www.makkalajagriti.org). Yours Truly is a Bangalore based theatre group specializing in various formats of interactive, improvisatory and participatory theatre.

More details at: http://ytnewsletter.wordpress.com/2009/05/28/alternative-definitions/