fuck love

a blog on 'life' and other popular four letter words...

Friday, December 30, 2011

Livin' la Vida Loca!!! :)

You know, it’s kinda crazy…

But two years ago, I actually decided to change my life (yes, seriously!).

The Libran that I am, I was never really known for making decisions. And even if I made ‘em, I never managed to keep them. Case in point – ‘Losing weight’ has been the longest running unresolved decision of my life - I’ve decided to lose weight for 6 years in a row now (7 if you count 2012 also J).

But two years back, I realized I had turned into everything that my neighbors, and hence my parents, wanted me to become J. I had a stable education, a stable job, a stable set of friends, a stable life and to top it all, I eventually turned into one of those boring profiles on shaadi.com, that seemed to celebrate my mediocrity by describing me as “simple, good natured and well behaved”.

I was never any of that.

For starters, I have an unstable mind (ok, now don’t get any ideas!) but I was supposed to be ‘the creative one’ – my mind was proudly and constantly up to no good - I used to be the resident prankster in school, I used to be the guy whose mind was always ticking, I used to be the guy with the ideas. I was never, ever ‘simple’ – life was happily complicated and truly ‘alive’. But just like that, two years back, I wasn’t any more of any of that and turned into a human embodiment of a matrimonial profile.

I seriously, seriously needed to change my life.

And I did.

The first thing I did was to have a relook at my career. I was aware of companies outside that could give me more; but a hard look convinced me that I really loved my job and loved doing what I am doing here (is my boss reading this? J) - I knew how my company worked and I knew who made it work. And quitting would mean restarting it all on a fresh new note. Also I was finally happy here - so I decided to stick on.

But the other thing I realized was that my job had become my life and vice versa – you remember that letter Narayana Murthy wrote to his staff about bachelor boys who stay back late in office and mess the entire work atmosphere for everyone– ya, that was me! (ah thank u J) I never really had any life worth talking about after office hours (besides Jenna Jameson) and I just stayed back late at office to hang around with other people like me. I seriously needed to get a life but I didn’t know how.

Now the funny thing I’ve discovered about life is that you usually have all the answers to your questions around you – you just need to step back, look around and find them out for yourself. And that’s exactly what I did – I looked deep into myself and dwelt into my past to get my answers. And I rediscovered a whole lotta stuff that was once part of me but got lost and got buried under the projects, reports and client calls.

I slowly remembered my forgotten fascination for the stage. I used to, once upon a time, love the thrill of standing on stage, under the spotlight and rehearse countless lines of verses; but it was all forgotten.

I decided to revive that.

I joined a theatre group called Yours Truly, that worked weekends. Suddenly, I was surrounded by people that had an inexplicable sparkle in their eyes due to their madness for the art. I breathed life into imaginary characters, rehearsed every weekend to bask in the rediscovered glory of being back on stage and felt like I had finally woken up from a deep and long slumber. Then one fine day, I just didn’t feel like going to theater and I never did since. I failed as an actor of the stage. I looked again into my heart for my next stab at life.

the theater-waalas

As I delved deeper into myself again, I remembered another forgotten part of my life – of being a fanatic follower of debates and elocutions, once upon a time. I found myself afraid to stand in front an audience again but decided to push myself to get those butterflies in my stomach to fly in formation - I got into public speaking and shocked myself with how much I missed it. I spoke, out spoke and spoke out and I loved every minute of it. Then one day, for no particular reason, I simply stopped going to speak. I did not succeed here either.

the great orator (seriously :))

And this year, I found my latest vice –writing. I started a blog this February and I wrote, wrote and wrote whenever I found the time. And I’m still writing and made many, many new friends. I’m not sure if I’ll grow out of this too one day but I know that if I do, I would have figured something new to do with my life.

the blogger awakens..

2011 has just been a year of rediscovery, of reevaluation and of refocus. It’s like this year I finally have a clean slate in hand, erased of all the mess that got scribbled on it over the past many years. Now, I can decide what to write on my slate and propel my life accordingly.

And it all seems to be working – on my work side, I got promoted this year. On the financial side, I finally hit a number that I’ve been eyeing for a while. On the personal front, my blog got featured in a newspaper. And health wise, I’m in better shape than last year.

2011, in retrospect, will go down as the year I figured all this out and hopefully, just hopefully, I hope to get all this right in the years to come. 2011 is the year I started making decisions and keeping them.

And if it goes well as it should, I will tell you this…

2011 is how it all started.


Here's wishing you and yours the very best wishes for a fabulous, prosperous and fantastic New Year in 2012. Let's live this year like there's no tomorrow and make those pesky pessimistic Mayans jealous!!

Happy New Year everyone!!!



  1. Now that you have found what life means, its time I start my journey :D Happy New Year da!! Take care, see ya next year with a new purpose, a clean slate and lotsa chalks too :P

  2. Hi Raj,

    Wish you very happy new year 2012 :) :) May all your wishes come true in the coming year :) even to weight reduction resolution :) he he

  3. Wish you a very happy new year :) I hope you lose some weight this year :D:P

  4. your story here is so inspiring Raj..it can surely help a lot of people with taking the right decisions..and I learned one thing outta it..Its never too late to make things right in your life...and Happy new Year:-)

  5. Good. it takes years to find out what one wants. you are lucky to have found out and are working towards it .. and what a inspiring story ..

    here's wishing you a very happy new year and wishing you get all that you want always ..


  6. So 2011 has been a wish fulfilling and eventful one for you.....congrats on each one of them....

    Happy new year to you and wishing you lots more accolades onto your kitty........

  7. Looks like your year was very eventful. Congrats on arriving at a 'clean slate' and wish you an awesome 2012! :)

  8. That's quite a journey...and great that the past assists you in it...mostly it just haunts or taunts...wishing you more in the years to come-not the weight...but success:-)

  9. HAPPENNING INDEED! Theatre to being an orator to being a great blogger to be featured in the newspaper. You covered it all.
    And no we never thought your were a SIMPLE guy

  10. I never can imagine doing so much in 2 years...You touched upon anything you liked and did it and moved on to the next. For me, it's the best anyone can do to their life. Happy new Year. I'm sure many new things will follow next year :)

  11. Happy New Year to you! You are not obese just well endowed. Be happy about it! I am not getting anything out f gymming coz m hogging, so being fit as a fiddle is years away. Have a great year ahead! I am your biggest fan!

  12. looks like it was a nice year for. happy new year and hope this year also reward you a lot :)

  13. Happy new year ! You hv some fun stuff going on. I miss my time with the kuala lumpur performing arts centre now!

  14. Hey Binu, nice to see u man.. thnx fr the very kind words macha.. the same to u man.. here's wishin u a great New Year in 2012 :)

    Hey Ravi, wassappp??? :)Thnx so much fr ur wishes Ravi.. u too hv a great New Year in 2012 man.. ya, weight reduction aur me, kabhi nahi!! :)

  15. Hey Serendipity, yup, thts been my wish too fr quite a long while nw :) Happy New Year to u 2 :) Have a blast this year :)

    Hey Mishi, thank u soo much fr ur very kind words .. glad tht u think tht way.. A very Happy New Year to u 2 Mishi :)

    Hey Bikram, thnk fr ur kind words man.. glad tht u think so :) Happy New Year to u too man :)

  16. Hey Somzzz, thnx fr ur wishes yaar.. its ppl like u whose support pushes me to come up with stuff .. n I am grateful fr tht.. Happy New Year 2 u 2 :)

    Hey Sruthi, thnx fr ur wishes .. read ur post n am glad ur year ws quite eventful too.. here's wishin u an awesum year in 2012 :)

    Hey Suruchi, very interesting perspective of the past hvn the power to jaunt n taunt.. kinda forgot bout tht angle :) Thnx so much fr ur wishes Suruchi.. here's wishin u a great New Year in 2012 too :)

  17. Hey Red, thnx soo much fr ur very kind words Red.. really means a lot :). hahaha , 'well-endowed' ws a word we used to refer to our favorite actresses of the yore, but thnku so much :) Wishin u a very Happy New Year to u 2 Red.. n I'm ur biggest admirer of ur amazing thoughts n yes, ur work :)

    Hey GG, glad tht u feel tht way yaar .. wow, I'm humbled actually :).. here's wishin u a fabulous New Year too GG, hope u hv a great one dear..thnx so much :)

  18. Hey Daanish, welcum to my blog.. do drop by more often man.. Happy New Year to u too Daanish :)

    Hey Joshi, Thnx so much fr ur wishes man :) Wishin u a fabulous New Year too Joshi.. Hv a great one :)

    Hey Jaya, nice to meet a fellow admirer of the arts .. wishin u a happy New Year in 2012 to u too Jaya.. hope u hv a blast!! :)

  19. Cool!
    Take charge of your life. Happy 2012

  20. Tough to find the time and space to do the things you want to, but so much joy once you make that happen. Otherwise the humdrum of life becomes the greatest time-suck.

    Thanks for this read!

  21. Wow! thats quite a story.... very inspiring. I think I can learn a thing or two from this! And a happy new year!

  22. Hey Sai, thx man fr the wishes.. hope 2012 started well fr u too man.. do drop by ore often man .. loved ur stand up video :)

    Hey Abha, glad to hv u here n thnk u fr ur nice comment.. I so agree with u.. thnx fr droppin by.. do drop by more often Abha :)

    Hey Nirvana, thnx a lot fr ur kind words.. feelin really nice tht u feel tht way... Hope u n urs hd a gud start to the New year, Nirvana.. do drop by more often :)

  23. Very nice!!! i like the blend of subtle humor in between the lines. And i wish you wouldn't call it a vice to write please!!! And yes, please do not grow short of this new found habit of yours (to write)You spread a lot of joy when you write..


  24. Hey Shobz, Wow! You just made my day! :)
    thanks so much for ur very kind words .. really appreciate :)
    Do drop by more often Shobz :)