The greatest secret of Human Attraction

Even though Jerry Maguire owns the copyright, I think the most romantic line ever is "You complete me".

A close second are the Bryan Adams lines, which completely blew me off the first time I heard them, "You gotta breathe her, really taste her till you can feel her in your blood....and when u see your unborn children in her eyes, u know u really love a woman"....aaah, quivering in my knees :D

There was a time when Yash Chopra movies were the epitome of romance –the women were always good lukin, they looked great in white saris, they danced well in the rain and luckily for the hero, it always rained. Love was forever, everyone loved only once and whether they loved or they lost, they lived forever ever after in the memory of their beloved.

But today, love stories are fast, frivolous and fluffy. Social changes are best reflected in the movies of the time - in spite of a very conformist ending (to play to the gallery perhaps), ‘Love Aaj Kal’ actually had a point –Aaj ka Love is definitely different from the Love of the Kal. The ‘bridges of Madison County’ have today made way to ‘Friends with Benefits’ with absolutely ‘No Strings Attached’. Also there is a growing genre of movies that attempts to explore new love after an old. A sign of things to come? Most likely maybe… Multiple Dating has taken over the relationship space by storm. The phenomenon called Speed Dating is a phenomenal success - If jilted in love, clink your glass and move on to your next date in 5 minutes. And 5 minutes later, to the next, and so forth….

This post is inspired by friend who just got out of a 9 year relationship – heartbroken she was and I took her to a disc to cheer her up. I knew that she’d take a terribly long time to get over her ex but I was as shocked as she when she found a guy in the disc that night itself (and his pick up line was cornier than my ‘naam tho suna hoga’!). Now, unlike her other close friends, I’ll give you a minute to pass judgments on her character. Now, hold on to those judgments – we’ll be using them later in this post.

The greatest secret of Human Attraction is that nobody is indispensable - everybody is expendable. If you’ve fallen out of love, then you can just board the next bus coming along. Centuries of conditioning have led us to believe that in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, you should live and love only once, forever and for ever. They’ve made us believe in the virtues of monogamy and consider anything otherwise as sacrilegious–social norms tell us that it’s wrong and that it’s a sin. We have all been made to believe in this morality tale – the good will always stay loyal while the bad will stray. But the truth lies elsewhere. Human attraction knows none of these rules and you get naturally attracted to many. Just like we have many a friends, we are actually capable of having many a loves. We are actually capable of loving many. Blasphemy you say? Well, that’s exactly what we’ve been made to believe. If you made judgments about my friend above, then they’re the prejudices that you picked up along the way via years of conditioning, upbringing, social and religious values (and Yash Chopra J). Heer had only one Ranjha, Laila had just one Majnu and Romeo, his one true Juliet. But if you knew Romeo had a simultaneous thing going on with Suzanna, Roxanna, Ponamma and Banupriya too all along, he may not have turned out to be as celebrated as he currently is. History celebrates the monogamists, while the adulterers are just looked down upon.

And if you think about it, you’ll agree that this is based on the concept of individuality – there are 7 billion of us and each of us are different (of course, some literature say that there are 6 other people similar to you on earth. If any of my similar 6 is reading this, then please buy me a drink- if however your finances are also similar to mine, please don’t bother J). We are all special in our own right and different in our own ways. There’s always gonna be something special in your next that can help you overcome what was special in your ex. The key point is that you can move on.

And yes, we ourselves may believe that we cannot love again - we may feel guilty, incapable or devoid of love. And it may hurt like hell - even after Monday and Tuesday, the calendar will read ‘W T F’ (J) but wise men have said that the heart was, after all, made to be broken. And they have also said that the antidote to love is love itself. And that party abhi baaki hai. J

So go get bitten. Again.

Cos you can.